The first of these is obvious: these are the first lines that I am writing in this place. I intend this to exist mostly for my own purposes – basically for recording my writing process – but if friends, family or even strangers find some use or entertainment in it then they are welcome to read.
I will keep a record of everything of any note that I write: any experimentation, miniature tasks, challenges and projects that I set myself, and hopefully the chapters of the novel that is my final goal in all of this. I am also hoping to collect resources that I have found useful. In the end, I want this place to be the story of my story.
The second meaning of the title and the second purpose of this post concerns the first hurdle that I am struggling to overcome: actually getting started.
Every night when my head hits the pillow the ideas swirl and dance through my thoughts. I picture the protagonists, antagonists and cities I have yet to name, I build the history of a people who have yet to come into being, and slowly but surely I fall in love with the world I wish so badly to bring to life.
But that is where it ends. Although I can put fingers to keyboard and create something of which I am relatively proud, I seem unable to do so with the one thing I wish to create most.
What confuses me is that I never really had this problem at University. In fact, I was almost the total opposite. Whilst Anna would sit in her room next to me and knock out an essay overnight, I would always have begun mine and perhaps even finished it weeks in advance.
Unless perhaps what I and everyone else considered to be procrastination and laziness in my younger years was actually this very same thing? After all, I only changed my ways once the consequences of failing to began to grow greater and greater. It also took proof of these efforts being beneficial for me to behave this way continuously – I certainly did not believe in the benefits through all the years of my parents telling me to.
Whatever the case, whether this is new or old, it is frustrating me. I feel lost and confused about how to even begin this mammoth task. Do I start at the beginning? Of course that makes sense from some perspectives, but an equally valid point is that the beginning, being of such high importance, should be left until my skill has been honed and I can write the most intriguing first chapter possible. Then again, what is proof-reading and re-writing for if not to revisit old work with older, more experienced eyes?
All I can do is begin my journey and hope that I get somewhere in the end. And, on that note, I end this post to return to more creative tasks.